When Habits Stop Feeling Like Punishment and Start Feeling Like Care

What Two Years of Consistency Taught Me About Intentions and Habits

Alexandra Pflaumer, January 2026

Every January, we are surrounded by conversations about habits. Build better ones. Be more disciplined. Stick to the plan this time.

That framing alone is enough to make habit building feel heavy before it even starts.

What I have learned is this: habits feel overwhelming when they are built on pressure, expectation, or who we think we should be. They become far more sustainable when they are aligned with what we genuinely want for ourselves and what we believe we deserve.

This week, I hit a personal milestone that surprised even me. I reached 104 consecutive weeks (2 years) of working out weekly. Some weeks were more active than others, but the consistency itself matters.

This is notable because I have never been someone who naturally loves exercise. I am nearly six feet tall and was always more of a music nerd than an athlete. I do not crave running. I do not feel energized by intense workouts for the sake of intensity. In the past, that mismatch made it very hard for me to stay consistent.

When I look back at why this time has been different, a few reflections stand out.

First, clarity about what you want and deserve changes everything. When I started this streak in early 2024, I was in the middle of two major shifts. Professionally, I was choosing work that felt more aligned with what mattered to me. Physically, my chronic back issues were worsening, and I was tired of feeling weak in my own body.

The intention was no longer to “get fit” or prove something to myself. It was to take care of my body because I truly felt that I deserved to feel strong and supported. Once that intention was clear, the actions became simpler and more obvious.

Second, high achievers are not immune from unrealistic expectations. In the past, my pattern was to aim too high too quickly. I would push my body beyond what it was capable of, get injured or burned out, and then stop altogether. Ambition without realism is not self discipline. It is self sabotage.

This time, the goal was not impressive. It was simply to move. Every day, I would wake up and tell myself, "roll out of bed and move. That's it." Some days that meant fifteen minutes. Other days it meant more. The consistency came from allowing the habit to meet me where I actually was, not where I thought I should be.

Third, staying on the path matters more than staying perfect. There were weeks that were lighter. There were disruptions. There were moments when progress looked different than I expected. But because the habit was tied to quality of life and not performance, it was easier to return to it without shame.

Alongside this, I was also in physical therapy. Feeling tangible improvement reinforced the belief that caring for my body was an investment, not an obligation. Even now, as my routines continue to evolve, that mindset remains. Working out is still a way of reminding myself that I matter.

This is where intention setting and habit building truly intersect. When habits are framed as a way to fulfill what you deserve, rather than fix what is wrong, they tend to stick with far less friction.

And in the spirit of honesty, I will add this. I am still working on applying this same gentle consistency to remembering my vitamins each morning. Turns out, even when you know the theory, practice is always a work in progress.

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Your next step

If you want to take action instead of overthinking this, here’s a simple reflection to sit with this week:

What habit are you trying to build that might feel easier if it were rooted in care rather than correction?