Alexandra Pflaumer
October 4, 2024
Hurricane Helene has profoundly impacted our communities through the loss of so many lives, businesses, landmarks, and even altering the geographical landscape. As we come to terms with the devastation, a shared sense of grief is emerging, affecting not just those directly impacted, but also those far removed from the storm’s path. This experience is referred to as collective grief.
Unpacking Collective Grief
Collective grief is the shared experience of loss within a group, whether it be a community, a workplace, or a nation. As with other forms of grief, collective grief encompasses a range of emotions—including sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, and helplessness; however, activated by a significant event that disrupts the sense of safety and stability. In the case of Hurricane Helene, so much is still unknown about the true number of lives lost and the sum of destruction to the landscape, homes, businesses, and historical landmarks. The widespread destruction has created a ripple effect, leading to a shared mourning that transcends geographical boundaries.
Grief From Different Perspectives
The experience of grief can vary, depending on each person’s circumstances.
Directly Affected: Overwhelmed by the loss of homes, possessions, their workplaces, or loved ones, survivors are doing just that- surviving, right now. They do not know when the ‘dust will settle’, when they can return home, or what they are returning to. They are dealing with the aftermath of water and wind damage, and so much more. Their whole lives changed in the matter of a day, and they may be dealing with the shock of it all for a long time. In addition to shock, those directly affected may also experience deep sorrow and survivors’ guilt in varying ways.
Community Members: Those in nearby areas may feel a deep empathy, paired with an equally profound sense of helplessness.
For those who still have not heard from loved ones, the uncertainty can create panic or anger, especially for those you cannot physically look for them due to collapsed bridges and roads.
Many are trying to get informed through news channels and social media. Watching videos people are uploading of the dire conditions that still exist, those who still need to be rescued, and peoples’ livelihoods completely gone can feel extraordinarily heavy, helpless, and even spark frustration and anger for how they believe relief efforts should be handled.
Appalachia has been the home of great sentiment to many. With historic towns like Chimney Rock completely leveled and the Rainbow Bridge of Lake Lure destroyed, some are processing the loss of places that hold great meaning to them.
Being in close proximity, community members nearby may have other homes in affected areas, still unsure if it is still standing and what financial losses they will be facing.
Some are feeling restless, as if they are sitting on their hands, waiting for an opportunity to act and support their neighbors. We see an overwhelming volume of in-kind efforts happening locally in Raleigh to support our neighbors in WNC as businesses, schools, and neighborhoods organize and partner with mobilized efforts out west. The ability to ‘do something’ can create a sense of purpose while still grappling with the sense of deep loss.
Remote Observers: Individuals far from the storm's impact may feel worried and concerned for those they know in the affected areas. This can lead to a sense of isolation as they process their emotions without a shared experience.
Collective Grief in the Workplace
In workplaces, collective grief can emerge in colleagues through difficulty concentrating, increased irritability or anger, withdrawing from colleagues, and decreased productivity. Employees have a desire to feel heard and acknowledged. Leaders, in fear of saying the wrong thing or not knowing what to say, may not say anything at all, leaving their teams feeling unseen and unsupported. When it feels like the world is hurting or in chaos, employees often look to their employer to make a statement and respond. They want to know that their colleagues who are impacted are cared for, and that their own well-being is important. These are also important times for organizations to live out their values and commitments to community through action.
How to Support Colleagues
During times of shared grief, it's crucial to offer support with sensitivity and care. Here are some strategies to consider:
Remember that there is more than one way to grieve: It is not up to us to decide how someone should grieve, and if someone should be more or less sad. This includes how individuals are affected by collective grief, which can vary greatly person-to-person. Someone might hold their own emotions close to their chest at work, grasping onto the stability it may provide, while others desire connection and conversation about the devastation.
Promote open conversation: If they are comfortable, encourage employees to share what they are experiencing in a supportive, open environment. Know that some may seek connection to others at work through open conversation while others may choose not to participate as a way to manage their own emotional regulation and well-being. Managers, however, should not shy away from creating open space to listen and connect with those who seek it.
Stay flexible: Consider flexible work hours or remote options for those dealing with personal matters.
Share resources: Share information about mental health resources, such as your employee assistance program.
Organize team activities: Plan team-building events centered on community service to help employees feel connected and purposeful in recovery efforts.
Avoiding Insensitive Remarks
While well-intentioned, certain phrases can unintentionally exacerbate feelings of grief. Avoid comments such as "At least it wasn't worse," “everything happens for a reason”, or "You'll get over it soon," as they can invalidate someone's feelings and contribute to a sense of isolation. In an effort to make someone feel better, you may actually have them feel dismissed.
While faith is prevalent for some in times of tragedy, do not assume that everyone has the same spiritual outlook as you. Statements like, “God has a plan for everything,” may help bring comfort to one person and frustrate another person, even another of the same faith. It is also not uncommon for those grieving to have a moment where they question their spirituality or are mad at a greater power. More supportive ways to comfort a colleague can look like saying things like, “I’m holding you and your family in my heart right now,” “I’m sitting with you in your sadness and am here if you want to talk.” You can also ask, “how can I support you in this moment?” in which case, they may ask for your prayers.
Final Thoughts
Hurricane Helene has highlighted just how vulnerable life and community can be. As we navigate this collective grief, let's remember to treat each other with compassion and understanding. By promoting open communication and extending support, we can foster healing and rebuilding in the wake of tragedy. Grief is not a straight path; it's a journey we can walk together, and in doing so, we bolster our bonds and resilience as a community.
For more on grief, you can view our grief resources page and the adult and children's grief shelves on Alexandra's bookshelf.
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